Which means I'll be out of the loop.

Oh, and I lost my cellphone, too. Which is a good thing 'cause I actually wanted that to happen. Yes, it's a part of the cryptic post about clean slates I posted days ago.

Anyhoo, see you soon. Hopefully.

It was 4AM and I was leafing through my writing notebook when I stumbled upon this.

There was much to learn. And much more to unlearn. The process of learning, the thawing process, the breaking down and redefining myself and the world involved an apocalyptic destruction of the ego. There had to be nothing left of me. I had to cease to exist. Only through a devastating holocaust of memory could I regain my malleability. Only through the extinction of the past, my entire history, could I survive and flourish in the present.

I have yet to finish the book. And Im'ma be tackling that when I go home. Ah, the sweet life of being a bum. :)

P.S. The Wolverine movie sucked BIGTIME. (Yep, it leaked on the internet,) It was boring and blah and plain horrible.

SONNET 141
In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who in despite of view is pleased to dote;
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted,
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast* with thee alone*:
But my five wits* nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway'd the likeness of a man*,
Thy proud hearts slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain.

I have been catching up on Shakespeare but not in the highbrow kinda way. I just finished Hamlet (Ethan Hawke, 'nuff said.) and 10 Things I Hate About You. I'm dl-ing O nao.

I am a bored geek.

I am leaving for Davao in two months so if you guys wanna jam, record, shoot or do anything creative together, please let me know.

Besides, I am very very very bored.

Kuya Reev asked me to be his assistant for this one so if you can spare 150 pesos (yeah, I know), drop by Abelardo Hall myang 2PM. :)

After two weeks minus a day of seeing the Blue Screen of Death, I finally had Barney over at PC Express Gilmore to have it checked.

I got a defective unit, apparently. Good news: They are replacing it. Bad news: Barney will no longer be in hot pink. It'll be in white now. Oh, and all my files are deleted now, too.

So I am basically starting from scratch. And that seemed to be a hard thing to do given the fact that I had to delete all my mp3s and movies but I got to do what I got to do. Besides. it's not as if it'll kill me, right?

And in many ways, there is more to this blog entry that I am letting on. Give Rose Melberg's Four Walls a listen. (Heck, give her a listen. Period.)

And no, this is not about how sucky my love life is. Thank you very much.

P.S. Barney's new color reminds me of clouds after the rain and clean slates. I like that.

Because I cannot sleep
I make music at night.
I am troubled by the one
whose face e has the color of spring flowers.
I have neither sleep nor patience,
neither a god reputation nor disgrace.
A thousand robes of wisdom are gone.
All my good manners have moved a thousand miles away.
The heart and the mind are left angry with each other.
The starts and the moon are envious of each other.
Because of this alienation the physical universe
is getting tighter and tighter.
The moon says, "How long will I remain
suspended without a sun?"
Without Love's jewel inside of me,
let the bazaar of my existence by destroyed stone by stone.
O Love, You who have been called by a thousand names,
You who know how to pour the wine
into the chalice of the body,
You who give culture to a thousand cultures,
You who are faceless but have a thousand faces,
O Love, You who shape the faces
of Turks, Europeans, and Zanzibaris,
give me a glass from Your bottle,
or a handful of bheng from Your Branch.
Remove the cork once more.
The we'll see a thousand chiefs prostrate themselves,
and a circle of ecstatic troubadours will play.
Then the addict will be breed of craving.
and will be resurrected,
and stand in awe till Judgement Day.

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Ode 314

Those who don't feel this Love
pulling them like a river,
those who don't drink dawn
like a cup of spring water
or take in sunset like supper,
those who don't want to change, 

let them sleep. 

This Love is beyond the study of theology,
that old trickery and hypocrisy.
I you want to improve your mind that way, 

sleep on. 

I've given up on my brain.
I've torn the cloth to shreds
and thrown it away. 

If you're not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words
around you, 

and sleep.

This is on repeat.

Must listen tracks are What Passes For Silence, The Perfect Crime, Take This Lying Down and Midweek Midmorning.

I have been looking at old Myx pictures on Tito Boy's Facebook. And it made me a little sad.

Whatever it is that has happened in the past is past. I would not be where I am now if not for Myx.

Fade in It Started With a Mixx by Los Campesinos!

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Will you continue to be friends with someone who clearly does not value your friendship?

I am beginning to get tired of trying to understand why he keeps on acting like a jerk when all I do is be nice to him.

To think that hell, I should really be hating him for the way he treated me that night.

But meh, I am sitting this one out.

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Choose to Act Mar 19, '09 2:22 PM for Christopher's contacts I am at the fork of destiny. I am confused. And yet I must choose. And yet I must act. I am a fool and I know this. But understand that I am a fool Because I have been fooled. And yet I know that I must choose. And yet I know that I must act. I must act because you are perfect. More so that I cannot act, Because with every passing moment, Despite my misgivings, You still are and will truly be perfect. And yet here I stand, On the fork of destiny, Unable to choose, Unable to act. Because I am falling, And hopefully, I will choose to act. And you will act to choose me. (seriously, that was the last emo post! thank you and good night multiply!) Tags: you, me Prev: Ginagamit mo lang ata ako... Fate has been smiling down on me lately. :)

I was watching Reality Bites (for the nth time, I know) when my phone rang. It was Ms. Mitch from Business World. She got the Managing Editor’s feedback and I was scheduled for an interview next week.

(Business World does not do interviews unless the applicant passes their exam.)

I was shocked.

You know why?

1.     It the most grueling exam ever since UPCAT.  It went on for five hours straight. 9AM to 1PM. No breaks. I had to write 6 essays about economy, politics and society. There was the seemingly endless IQ, vocabulary, personality, decision-making exams. AND the four sets (!) of math problem sets to be solved. And the tests were timed! Ugh, I hate exams.

2.     But the real reason why I was shocked is because I passed when the only reason why I went there was to prove a point.

I wrote about my politics there. I did not go about the essays kissing their asses. Sure, I am bumming right now but principles always come first.

I wrote about how I do not vote because it is basically the same senseless circus every single time.

I wrote on how the news should never be construed as the truth because it is basically just a bunch of “stories” deemed important by the gatekeepers who were protecting their own interests.

I wrote about how there were two types of Filipinos: nanggagago at nagpapagago.

I wrote about how I am sick of hearing everybody else whine about the sinking ship that is our country. Mapa-mayaman, mahirap, nakapag-aral,hindi nakapag-aral, walang ginawa kundi ngumawa. We are a noisy people. When will we ever shut up and just do something meaningful for a change?

I also wrote about my decision to stay here even with all the crappy things going on around here ‘cause even if I did write about us being stupid sometimes, I still love this country and there is still hope for lasting change. Real change. The one triggered by love. Not money. Not money. That is if we only choose to end this victim cycle and take the reins of our lives. (Everyone listen to Over The Ocean by Nine Black Alps now.)

I also wrote about they should not listen to me because I was just a smartass trying to act all cool when in fact she does know shit, anyways.

And still, I will be interviewed by the Managing Editor. Interesting.

P.S. The film school gig is still my number one priority, though.